Dealing with "them"

So we all have those people in our lives that either make our skin crawl or give us the urge to jump off of a high cliff, with sharp, jagged rocks at the bottom (or for them to be "accidentally" pushed off!).

I refer to these specific people as "them."

Even though "they" seem to only have one purpose in life- to humiliate and destroy our peace of mind- "they" are our fellow human beings.

The countless moments of rage and easily-reached boiling points make it hard not to simply turn into one of "them" and supply a taste of their own medicine, but it can most definitely be achieved through self-control.

I was having a rough experience with this myself, with a certain person whom I really cared for. We went through some hard times together and for a while it seemed as though it would have been best to just go our separate ways. I was running out of patience and just couldn't take the distance that had been placed between us- both physically and emotionally. This once close friend had become tangled in a mass of fabricated stories and countless excuses- not reasons or justifications- for things they had done. I was hurt. I wanted so badly to change this friend and to make them realize how much of a jerk they were being. Later I realized this had been the wrong approach. Soon, I came across this quote:

"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of becoming."

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I immediately found that I had been going about my desire of change in all the wrong ways. I thought that through exposure, embarrassment, and harsh words, I could somehow make this person become what I wanted them to be. This chronic liar would magically become a person of integrity if I could just say the strongest, most hateful words possible, and make sure everyone heard. Wrong. Goethe is wise in his theory- people can "become what they are capable of" through our help- not force- and by us treating them as if they already were this attainable being.

I am a firm believer in the idea that people can change, no matter how much bad they have done or how many times or however deeply they may have wronged others in the past. This change can take time, maybe even years for some, but can most certainly be attained through patience and love from those who most seek the sight of the transformation.

So what is the diagnosis for these hurtful people? They are hurting. They are confused. They are lost. They have been forgotten and/or given up on. What can you do? Follow Goethe's teaching. YOU can help "them" become "friend."

Walk with "them."

Guide "them."

Love "them."

One person can make a difference... Be that one.

xoxo

SilverLining

One Silver Lining

Well, I finally started the blog. This is a page that contrasts from the world we know today. As we see it gradually increase with people, we also, unfortunately, see an increase of loss of values.

But there are people left in the world that still believe in doing good! Who says you need to be like everyone else and conform to lower standards? One person can always make a difference.

Whether it's having a positive attitude in a stressful situation or standing up for something you believe in, you can be a cloud's Silver Lining- one that may touch and change another life.